A Psychologist Explains the Difference


This morning I gently reminded my daughter—yet again—to email her teacher about a question she had on her homework. I’ve been reminding her for the past three days and she still hadn’t done it. Her response to my “helpful nudge” was, “Mom, I know. Stop nagging me about it! I’m going to do it.” Then she stormed off.

Here’s the thing, I know nagging is ineffective. I teach all my clients that it’s not effective. Not only does nagging trigger the very response I just got from my daughter; it also impedes the development of our teens’ ability to self-regulate. And yet, here I was—nagging.

Nagging teens sends a message that we don’t think they are competent. (Twenty20 @svetlaya)

The differences between reminding and nagging

So, I got to thinking. What’s the difference between reminding and nagging? How do we remind our kids to do something without coming across…

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